Sometimes in our relationship or marriage we are faced with infidelity. In the last decades or so, with the development of social media and technology, such as smartphones, computers, etc., material evidence just “pop up” – text messages, emails, and so on. When one stumbles upon something like that, they are often in shock and do not know what to do.

A client who has been married for 10 years and whose life was dedicated to her husband and children came to the individual Constellation session. As soon as she got pregnant, she quit her high paying job, so she could be a fulltime housewife. 

Her husband, who was also earning very well, encouraged her to do so as well. Caring for her family was something she considered to be her duty and occupation, and she did with so much love. 

But by accident, she discovered the text messages and emails which discovered that her husband was cheating on her for the past four years and not only that, but he also had another child.

Her entire world collapsed. One painful realization after another, shock after shock, led her to depression. She seeked help from a psychologist, but after 6 months of therapy she still felt unstable and even worse than before. 

Sleepless nights, feelings of helplessness, angre, rage, gult (I wasn’t a good enough wife) after all even loosing faith in her self (“How could I be so stupid and blind”), and constant questioning of everything, weather she should stay in her marriage, worrying about the future, finances, and so on, resulted in her ill psychophysical health.

In this particular case, the work needed to be done in several fields at once; 

• stabilization, 
• analyzing and building the relationship with herself, 
• working on self-esteem, self-understanding and self-confidence, 
• re-defining the roles of mother and wife, 
• business constellations so she can return to the labor market and achieve financial independence
• empowering her so she can independently and peacefully decide on her future with or without her husband, and also without feeling guilty towards children and herself.

It wouldn’t be just towards our client to reveal the all the final outcome, but she is currently employed, at peace with herself and aware of her qualities. 

The decision to stay married or to get a divorce it was completely up to the client. In the Constellations we do not instruct anyone what they should do, but rather we provide insights and all the possibilities available. After that, the decision is up to the client.